Jokes about males buying pads just to meet their AF7 idol XD

Norliza commented (on FACEBOOK) about MEN buying Intimate
Pads just to meet their AF7 IDOL, Stacie.
Here are the jokes I posted/provided for your entertainment:

Intimates pads=Ipad? XD

male fan: Hey Stacie! I bought Intimates pads just to be
with you!
Other male fans: Us too!
Stacie: O.O
_________________
(Norliza mentioned that Intimate Pads are limited to
50 customers only)

UNFORTUNATELY for the GIRLS, all 50 were BOUGHT
BY THE MALES!

I can already imagine Stacie's face when she is going to face ALL 50
OF HER (MALE) FANS, who just bought the IPADS (not the apple
one, ya dum-dum, although IMO is kinda a STUPID NAME for an
OVERSIZED Itouch, worst than the Wii)

Kid: Wanna play with my Wii? (innocent)

Adult male: Wanna play with my Wii?
Adult Female: Eww! PERVERT! *SLAPS*
_____________________

ATTENTION ALL FANS! You MUST wear THE INTIMATE PADS
in order to MEET YOUR IDOL!
all 50 males: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

______________
(at the Cashier)
Kid: Dad! What is an Intimate pad?
Dad: It's for girls, son, so you wouldn't know.
Kid: Dad!
Dad: Yes?
Kid: Are you a girl?
Dad: Of course not! What makes you think that?
Kid: Coz your buying it?
Dad: No son, it's for your mother.
Kid: Dad!
Dad: What now???
Kid: Why are you buying 50 of 'em?

________
Stacie meets a male fan.
Male fan extends left fan to shake her hands.
Male fan: Sorry I'm left handed.
Stacie: No worries (shakes using left hand)
Stacie: Kinda odd that you bought those pads.
Male fans: It's for my girlfriend...
Stacie: you sure you bought those pads for your girlfriend?
Male fan: umm... Yeah.
Stacie (in doubt): What is her name?
Male fan: umm... Miss Lefty...?

Who is clever? Teacher or student?

Who is clever? Teacher or student??????????
>
> One night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't
> Study For The test Which Was Scheduled For The Next day.
>
> In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
> dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean
> and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their
> return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all
> the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the
> test.
>
> So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
> him and said they will be ready by that time.
>
> On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
> this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in
> separate classrooms for the test.
>
> They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
>
> The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
>
> Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)
> Q.2. Which tire burst ?...............(98 MARKS)
>
> a) Front Left
> b) Front Right
> c) Back Left
> d) Back Right.....!!!

hehehehe. actually I already read this as an example from a textbook (not 100% the same) but it does make one good entertainment. ^^

Killing English

Funny stuff XD

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ?

Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."


Don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some Problem . And then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

Teacher in a furious mood...Write down ur name and father of ur name!!

"shhh... Quiet... The principal is revolving around college"

My manager started like this "Hi, I am Pinky, Married with two kids"

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

"will u hang that calender or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us.... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

hahahahaha

had a test, do this and that, and then this has made my day

man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to?"



"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"


The trainee shouted back:
"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.


"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the Phone

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?

Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?
Ans: If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.

LOL

msn- xhu's pencil attack

Nearly forgotten about this...



lol

he tries to "attach" with his pencil against my mighty tarap basher

hehehehe

A joke - pity for the guy though

IN THE NEAR FUTURE

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Company."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order.."

Operator : "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 3891100189185."

Operator : "Thank you, Mr. Grover. I see you live at 947 Mubaan Pricha, and the phone number is 02-8862840. Your office number at Pratunam complex is 02-6562677 and your mobile phone number is 01-6467826. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh?, I am at home. Where did you get all this information?"

Operator : "We are wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I would like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Pizza..."

Operator : "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Operator : "Sir, your medical records indicate that you have got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your 30 Baht, National Health Care provider would not allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn, what do you recommend, then?"

Operator : "You might try our low-fat Soyabean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you will like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I would like something like that?"

Operator : "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soyabean Recipes' from the British Council library last week, sir. That's why I made that suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator : "That should be plenty for you, your wife, your four kids, your mistress and a kid on the way, sir. The 'damage' as you put it, heh-heh, comes to Baht 1560."

Customer: "Let me give you my credit card number."

Operator : "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your delivery arrives."

Operator : "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator : "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you are in a hurry you might want to pick them up while you are out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How did you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator : "It says here you are in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Honda Steed 600 is fully paid up, so I just assumed that you would be using it."

Customer: "@#$%^&*@#$%^&^%$#@" (Censored)

Operator : "I'd advise you to watch your language, sir. You have already got a July 2004 conviction for accusing a traffic police officer, when he stopped you for a routine check."

Customer: "(Speechless)"

Operator : "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the order of two family-sized pizzas."

Operator : "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

Karangan darjah 4 (email) - malay only

XD

?Karangan budak darjah 4

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku.
Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip
tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan
dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu
emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas
emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju
untuk mengikutnya.

Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru
dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya
tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya
naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di
belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula.

Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama
dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju
iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat
menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi
jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang
feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat
marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori.
Pemandu lori menekan butang khas didalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar
menjadi robot Transformer.

Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa
sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia
melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu
feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu
terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut
melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan
tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan
helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas
helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi.

Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke
tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya
sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori
itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu
lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat
lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota
polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni
tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi.

Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

hahahahha, atu ia!

ps: if I have time, I'll try to translate the joke into english. Right now got to concentrate on going to UK for my masters ^^

Garage Sale - a story

On the second of september, last Sunday, me and my family went out garage sale hunting at Pusat Al-amirah(?) at Sengkurong and the other one in Batu Satu...

The funny thing is that at Batu Satu, we circle around the place looking for the "garage sale" but to no avail. We were puzzle as it is clearly stated in my mum's mobile there was going to be a garage sale there.

So my mum recheck the message and said it out loud. After listening to it, I made this remark...

"Ma, this is september... did you just mention 2nd of August???"

Man, we all had a laugh. Ah well, we were just a month late for the garage sale at Batu Satu XD

Hey at least the garage sale in Sengkurong, I got 3 WWF's VCDs (original price of $15 each) for a bargain of 3 boxes (10 vcds) for a total of $5 ^^. So it was not a total loss.

The WWF's boxed vcds are:
WrestleMania X-Seven (1st april 2001)
Judgement Day (2001)
Backlash (2001)